Saturday, March 3, 2012

I'm worried about my brain

and I'm worried about my heart.  I'm worried about every part of me that has anything to do with who I am.  Something has happened.  Something that I nor anyone who has known me over the last 30 years could ever have anticipated.  I know for a fact that the things you worry about the most never happen and that the bad things that happen are things that you never ever would have imagined.  But the unimaginable has happened to me.  The unimaginable has me in its grasp.

I don't know what to do about it.  I can't eat (unimaginable in itself).  I can't sit still.  I can't read.  I can't watch TV.  I could hardly work out this morning.  I can't think about anything else.  I've picked my phone up a thousand times to reach out and touch someone.  Someone who cares.  Someone who can help me with this - this THING.  I can't make my self press dial.  My feet are fidgeting anxiously as I sit at the computer.  I can hardly type.  My stomach is in knots.  I might vomit.

I need help.  An intervention may be in my future.  I may have to go to some type of 12-step program.  

My name is Karen and...

I must pause now - to catch my breath.

You have seen bits and pieces of my dining room,

  my bedroom

an attempt at a lighter color and I don't even LIKE it!
my guest room.... 

Prior to this house I lived in an 6 room house that was painted with 13 colors named things like Barn, Mandarin, Frog, Bosc Pear, Purest Black, Pear, Yolk, Lilac...  My bedroom was a coral/rose/white fresco finish like you might find on the streets of Venice.  The entryway and adjacent stairwall were painted meticulously in zebra stripes.   I had blackboard walls before blackboard walls were cool. I painted a friends kitchen with gorgeous deep raspberry walls.....

My love for colored walls pre-dates Trading Spaces, HGTV, and The Painted House,  I'm not talking pastels here.  I don't recall ever having a "tint" or "hint" of color.  That is not my style.  The color doesn't have to be dark, just saturated - and ALWAYS a TONE (meaning in my understanding that the true color is altered by grey, not white like a tint).

Which brings me back to my own discontent.   Could this desire for a white room(s) be a passing fancy?  Could it just be blogger-white-itis?  What else could it be?

I know my daughter is thinking "who is writing this post and what have you done with my mother!"

What do I do? Can someone help me find my way???????

I must go lie down.

H   e   l    p    !


Linking with Metamorphasis Monday @ Between Naps On the Porch


Unknown said...

try to fight it. I don't know if you will be able to but think about it--all that white would be like living inside a light bulb

fiona anderson said...

Ermm - feeling guilty now - maybe I've given you white-itis !
Think of it as a background to all your stuff. Like me, you're not a minimalist, so all your treasured things will really 'pop' and 'sing' on a white background. You can always paint it a colour if it is too much for you !
Am I supposed to be disuading you lol !
Sorry Fiona @ justpaintitwhite !!!

Pamela said...

You are beyond hysterical!!!!

Debbie-Dabble Blog and A Debbie-Dabble Christmas said...

I had to laugh as I am a Lover of deep rich colors and painted every room in my home deep colors about 12 years ago. I was a fan of the Christopher Lowell Show and he loved deep rich colors and taught me not to be afraid of them. I still love them and white, i know, is not for me. I admire it in other people's homes but I know that I would be VERY bored with it and would most likely be painting over it in a year.
BUT you need to go with your heart and if you do get tired of it, there is always another color easily available in a pint can!!


Tina said...

I had to laugh at your post. I love color also,always have. But living in military housing for 20 years I have developed an aversion to white walls (in my own house). However......I have caught the white furniture bug again!

Why not paint one room white and live with it for a while? Then go from there.

Linking from BNOTP
Have a great day

thistlewoodfarm said...

You are too funny! I was about to comment on your cute table and then I was worried that something was wrong with you :) Hope you are better after you laid down :)


kayla said...

Suggestion if you have not yet painted the room....I painted my bedroom white-even though I also like color on the walls. I added a wide blue stripe in the center of one wall, took it up the ceiling, and down the wall across the room.

Tammy Killoough said...

I just got through painting my (was black) living room a cream color. My daughter and sister wanted to kill me. I loved the black...but needed a change. My house is really small...and one thing I've learned. If you keep your paint cohesive throughout the will have a larger feeling. So that's how I justified it. I was really wanting to go back to a lighter...cleaner look. Which is a joke within I'm a clutter bug. Don't hesitate. Paint it. It's only paint! ~Tammy

Vickie @ Ranger 911 said...

Oh, I do like a good laugh and I love this post! I, too, have been holding off on the white craziness that's taken over, but after 8 years of looking at my dreary dining room, I bit the bullet and did it! I NEED color and wood in the room, though. All white is just too flat for me.

You know what the next trend will be, don't you?

Saturated color. :@


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...