Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Total Couture - Karen Style

I used to buy a lot of shoes. I used to buy a few clothes. When I quit working 4 years ago I basically quit buying clothes or shoes. Yes I have purchased a few things since then but relatively little that would keep me up with styles or in fashion. 

The truth is I don't really care. Over the past 30 years I have evolved into this person that hates shopping. Hates it. I went to a mall with a friend a couple of weeks ago. We were to buy some make-up at Macy's and some furniture knobs at Anthropologie. She decided she wanted to look through the Eileen Fisher section. It seemed like this wasn't too much to handle so I said sure and started looking around and admiring a few things. She found a few things to try on and took them to the changing room. I went to the shoe department (what used to be my favorite section of any store) to look around.

I found rack after rack of pink, yellow, blue and animal print shoes with 4 inch heels. I just don't have anywhere to wear pink, yellow, blue and animal print shoes. When I was working I had to dress up and we had to wear closed toe shoes. Try finding some of those that don't look like great-grandmother shoes.

I'm digressing again. While I was looking at these shoes I was overwhelmed by everything in society that suggests we even NEED pink, yellow, blue and/or animal print shoes. And I thought a lot of things that I won't repeat here. I began to wonder how long it was going to take my friend to finish and we could get out of here. I waited and waited and waited and waited. And texted her "hurry!" I thought I would die. Anyway, that horrible experience finally ended and she promised never to ask me to shop with her again. 

And I'm digressing even more. I haven't even explained why I'm even writing about clothes. My friend Kirby hosts a party occasionally called Tongue in Cheek Tuesday. I've made excuses for the last several, and it's getting embarrassing to ask for rain checks. The subject of today's party is Total Couture. Wow! What a great week for me to join in. I say this tongue in cheek. 

I really can't speak about my wardrobe with anything other than tongue in cheek.

I'm going to show you what I mean. Please enjoy the fab photography and editing (or lack thereof).

When I get up in the morning I put on something like this:

Or if I'm feeling really festive I put on something like this:

Notice the paint on those 7 year old exercise tights?

Over that I put on something like this:

If I want some variety I look deeper in a drawer like this one:

or this one:

or this one:

Once the top is covered I have to make a decision about the bottom.

If it is a cold day I put these on instead:

 My artistic photography may have caused you to miss the holes and the paint on this 6 year old pair of yoga pants.

If it is chilly I wear one of these too:

I wear this outfit until I have worked out. Don't you wish I worked out beside you? You would look like a fashion fantasy!

Then I come home from the gym and take off my wet clothes. Usually at some point after I get home I bathe. 

Then I wear this:

I've been known to wear this for the rest of the day, until bedtime.

If I break down and get dressed again I wear this:

and this:

If it gets really warm I wear this:

Do you see the trend?

Oh, I forgot to show you my shoes. 

Please don't laugh.

If I haven't worked out yet I wear this:

If I have already worked out I wear this:

Yes my toes do bend twice and backward. Except my big toes. They just bend once backwards or forwards.

Yes that is drops of blood. I did that when I was busting out the glass from the windows that I used to build my recycled window pergola.

Yes these are ugly slippers. They are the remaining pair of 5 pairs I had at one time. They were always my last choice to wear. Thus they are the only ones that haven't worn out. My luck they will last another 4 years.

I do actually have clothes that I wear out in public. They are much a lot a little better than what I showed you above. Some of them are even less than 3 years old. Not many of them. But some.

I also have some clothes that are not black. Or white. Not many. But some.

But not this:

It's snowing today, so this is my sweatshirt for the day. I think maybe I've worn it too many days in a row...

I wore it while I built my shelves.  See the caulk? 

I think there is some cake on there too.

Sometimes my sweatshirts miss the wash because I am wearing them.

I better go now. My tongue and cheek are tired.

Make something wonderful today!


If you want to check out some other tongues and cheeks, click here.


Danni@SiloHillFarm said...

Okay...I totally laughed at your shoes...but not your toes. I was cursed with my dad's feet and my toes are all bendy too. You're attire looks fine to me...said the girl who declared pajama day at 9 this morning!! Thanks for linkin up, you brave soul!

andi filante said...

Bahahahaha! Funny, funny, funny!! I love the endless t-shirts...I have boxes full of race t-shirts. Gonna make a quilt someday. yeah... someday... Thanks for visiting Delusions!


Mel@Mellywood's Mansion said...

It appears you have the Summer version of my shoes, delightful. Seriously, when I'm wearing yoga pants I'm glad I'm not working. Love this post hilarious :)

Donna Wilkes said...

You have mall-a-phobia too? I have contracted a fear of malls and department stores. If I cannot get something at the thrift shop, I go to Old Navy on the last Thursday of the month for final markdown day. My tee shirts drawer has overflowed into bins. My gym is located at the local college. My outfit compared to a young coed? No words can describe it.

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

Hahaha! Karen, you nut!
Here's what I gathered from your post- I need to redo my drawers. Not that I ever get anything out of them, but yours are so nice and orderly.
I buy slippers in bulk. I intend to only wear them in the house, but then I do a project or walk thru the poo and it's all over. I wish I could stay in a towel all day like you. What's your secret to holding it on?

must love junk said...

This is hilarious! My clothes drawers are all the same colors-black, gray, and some brown. It's just easy :)

Sherry @ Thrift My House said...

Okay, my family want to know what I'm laughing about... I am really laughing out loud. All of you ladies are so funny! I love your wardrobe.

Tuula @ Thrifty Rebel Vintage said...

That is quite the extensive wardrobe you have there! Love those slippers!! lol.

Bliss said...

I had four comments but everyone above me touched on the same things, so I'll just say your slippers match my robe.


Kirby Carespodi said...

Love your wardrobe--I too have ten thousand t-shirts and hate shopping.

Lorraine said...

I'm noticing a trend you think we can go to Haven looking like our normal selves? Or are we going to have to go shopping? And just as an additional is it you have painted toenails? It's not summer up there is it? I haven't even started shaving my legs has to be at least 70 degrees for that extra effort.

Milia said...

I will never ask you to shop again - and I wouldn't have tried anything on then but it was a sale! And I hate shopping, too. You think I wanted to drive back out there and shop again? Are you nuts?

Linda @ it all started with paint said...

Yes, sadly, your wardrobe and my wardrobe look eerily similar ...

But I have seen you in real clothes and you clean up really, really well!

:) Linda

Unknown said...

Such a hilarious post,super wardrobe, love the slippers!
Do visit my blog and if you like,follow on GFC and Bloglovin and like my FB page too and leave a comment and i'll surely follow back!

Kathryn J Cain said...

i am laughing and still laughing cause...I hate to shop and I was in retail...I even did fashion in the person who organizes dresses every one and commentates....and did buying and display serious retail...38 years and yes dress code and even when relaxed I was the boss had to look the part( Dillards store manager.....heals you bet so you get why I am laughing cause how did you get pics of my dresser? and what I am wearing guessed

Amy Ellis said...

Stopping by from Total Couture, and laughing too much. I can see why you hang out with these girls, and those stretchy exercise clothes really are comfy, who could blame you!! ~ Amy

Tami Rebekah said...

Exactly what my clothes look like!! They are ALL covered in paint (and cat hair) Love your posts!! Have a wonderful weekend!

Amy of While Wearing Heels said...

I love seeing all these tongue and cheeks. You lived up to the humorous standard Kirby, Danni, Mel, Bliss and so many more have set so high. Since I was laid off from work, I feel the same way about shopping too! If I don't come across it thrifting, my wardrobe rarely gets updated :) and you are right, no one needs pink and yellow animal print high heeled shoes. Love your outfits and your honesty.

Art and Sand said...

I am retiring in less than 6 weeks (so fun to say that) and I have been thinking about my wardrobe. Presently I have clothes in our walk in closet, clothes in the guest room walk in closet, clothes in the hallway cabinet, clothes in the linen closet, clothes in a living room cabinet and clothes in the attic. All weekend I wear yoga pants and tees. During spring break, we ended up going out on 4 different occasions with 4 different groups of people and I wore by little black dress - because I didn't have to iron it. What's my point? I think I will be much like you in 6 weeks time and all those clothes and shoes ( 14 pairs of Converse shoes) will be unnecessary. The girls on my volleyball team (6th graders) have decided that I won't need my Converse anymore and I should give one pair to each player. i just might do it.

Unknown said...

You are absolutely hilarious - love love love this post!
Dressing in layers seems to be the trick because I don't see a lot of paint on your clothes lol
Thanks SO much for linking this up - you're fabulous
( so is your pedicure )

Little Miss Maggie said...

Your wardrobe looks so much like mine except I still have the close toed shoes and the business attire. In other words, I wish I could ditch the latter and only wear the comfies. Only one year and eleven months to go and I will be joining you smiling all the way.


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